Koh Samui

Rainy old Manchester... after a very odd and random encounter near Oxford Road station with someone I’ve not seen in 10 years I walked up into Chinatown, walked down Princess Street, toyed with the idea of going to swanky looking Obsidian and found myself in Koh Samui instead. And I regretted it.

It was busy so as I was on my own they put me in a rather dank corner underneath the window. It had that rather unpleasant smell which reminds me of flats I've lived in where the scumbag landlord is too tight to fix the roof, pointing, etc. There is probably not much they can do about it without digging up the road but it wasn't nice.

To get me going (and because I was starved) I got a bowl of prawn crackers with some “minced beef” dip stuff. Now the dip tasted rather like some combination of pork, mayo, peanuts and chilli-oil and so it may have been. Either it was something incredibly authentic or perhaps it was a joke-dish. I don't like mayo very much at the best of times.

The fish soup tasted good but was severely let down by the rather chewy bits of shellfish, once a scallop has got to the point of looking like limestone pavement it’s ruined. Really. Prawns and squid just as bad.

For mains I had "crispy" belly pork with morning glory. The morning glory was interesting, though I did have to remind myself that it is a bit like eating bind-weed. Sadly the pork wasn't the melty glorious experience I had hoped for and was more chewy than crispy.

The other diners, western mostly, seemed to be having a good time on christmas or end-of-term parties and perhaps this is the more appropriate method to visit such a place. But really I didn't rate it and won't be going back.

Red N Hot, Chinatown

Manchester's Chinatown is a slightly daunting place with restaurants, supermarkets and a hundred and one associated emporiums crammed in a few blocks of tall northern brickwork. Making a decision as to where to go can be pretty tough.

One of my favourites which I found pretty early on in my wanderings is Red N Hot an authentic Szechuan restaurant, tucked away up a flight of stairs on Faulkner Street. The restaurant has been refurbished recently and taken on a much more stylish appearance with it, before this it was pretty basic feeling but consistently packed with Chinese people tucking in to all manner of peculiar things. I've rarely seen many western faces in there, perhaps because the stairs and the fact that you can't see in from the street puts off the less intrepid visitors.

So how brave are you? A must is the hotpot - you are delivered a cauldron of boiling stock (normally divided into spicy and not-spicy segments) and a tray of raw ingredients which you cook yourself in the pot. The selection of fish, meat, noodles, veg, mushrooms and other bits can of course tailored to your dietary needs - though it's likely the stock isn't of purest vegetable origin... Chuck a few things in and fish them out when you're happy with how they're done. Take your time. They have recently replaced the gas burners and bottles in the tables which really hampered legroom, the new electric hotplates being way more sensible.



The regular dishes can be just as daring - fancy a plate of "Duck tongues" or "Pigs ears"? I tried them both at the same time which was a bit much. If you're in for a bit of a banquet they do a marvellous pork hock which is devilishly huge - the manager described it along the lines of "In Chinese families it's the dish we cook when the prodigal children come home from the big city".

Update: Apart from the upgraded tables (edited in above) they have also introduced ordering via laptop - which seems like a bit of a gimmick but somehow managed to deliver our starters phenomenally quickly. In combination with the hotplates I suspect we may find that the laptops have nice melty edges after a while...

Red Chilli

Here's one that got away - and a very nice one at that. We're back in Chinatown on Portland Street. Reassuringly Red Chilli seems to use a one-stream approach to chinese quisine so no need (as Neil Sowerby sort of said) to go for off-menu macho jackass behaviour. And best of all it's not just boring old Cantonese. When I was in there it was heaving with happy diners, mostly oriental. A good sign. Sweet Mandarin by contrast was totally British though I suppose in a very different catchment area.

For starters I had "beijing dumplings" which I have fond memories of eating far too many of when my dad's friend Chen cooked for us back home in Lancaster when I was about 7. Never seen them at a restaurant before.

Then I think for the main I had some kind of bird-nest-fish-basket thing which was pretty spicy as I remember. It was fine but I was already creaking under the weight of all those dumplings. Perhaps I should have read the rest of Neil's review and had the Lamb dish. Well worth a visit and definitely to be returned to at some point.

Happy seasons, Chinatown

It was Sunday night - in all honesty I was still a little wonky after going out on Saturday so rather than cook the various things I had in the fridge I went out for some Chinese. I find trying to research Chinese restaurants in Manchester a very confusing business as most of the reviews seem to be either WRITTEN IN CAPITALS and/or very very short. I had better not let the side down:



HAPPY SEASONS IS A GREAT RESTAURANT IT'S NOT BIG BUT THEY HAVE REAL CHINESE PEOPLE IN THERE AND UPSET SOUNDING DANES. CHINESE PEOPLE DRINK TEA AND USE CHOPSTICKS. DANES USE KNIVES AND FORKS AND DRINK BEER. I HAD VERY GOOD SOUP WITH WANTONS IN IT AND SOME KIND OF PORK AND CABBAGE DISH.



Stop shouting for goodness sake. Thing is there are SO many restaurants I need to go to a few more to get a proper handle on where is actually good. This place certainly had a bit of not-posh charm and was indeed full of genuine Chinese people ordering a completely different sub-set of food from the westerners. Chopsticks in one hand, little spoon in the other, a big slurp of tea, and bones left scattered across the table they came in ones and twos for a quick fix or in parties for lingering conversation.

The two-stream approach does bother me a bit - like they take the same food but take the bones out if you're European. It's like having the crusts cut off the bread by a well-meaning but ultimately mis-guided parent. Call me strange but I can't stand such mollycoddlement. Next time I go to one of these places I'm going to ask for tea, get talking to the staff and see if I can get the good stuff. Rant over.



The food was pretty good really, particularly the soup which was lovely and watery and full of good things. The menu so extensive that there must have been all sorts of interesting stuff hiding in there - I was very tempted by the rather expensive scallop dishes in the seafood section at the front but think I didn't exactly do badly with the pork with preserved cabbage. It doesn't matter what culture you come from, pork and cabbage is always a winner!